My reply

I put this on her door after I cleaned the rest of my dishes and put away and organized anything in the way.

Luccie

I know that you and I have different notions of how clean our apartment should be, and I realize that I haven’t been able to do much cleaning recently for one reason or another. I know that it took you a lot of time to clean up this morning and I apologize that you did all that work because of me, and I will definitely not leave such a mess again. I also will do more regular cleaning and try not to get the living room that dirty again either.

We both like to wash our dishes in a different way, and I’ll try to be more timely and organized about leaving dirty dishes out on the counter. I apologize also for eating the chocolates you left out; I’ll try to remember to replace them once we come back for next term. My behavior in that has been unacceptable and I know that you wouldn’t have felt the need to leave me a note had there not been so much of a reason to do so, and I feel bad that you were put in that situation and I’ll be careful not to be so careless in my cleaning from now on.

However, that being said, I also feel that I need to tell you, without making excuses for my behavior that, this probably wasn’t the best way for us to have come to this point. I realize that sometimes you take it upon yourself to organize and clean up after me and I think that this hasn’t been the best thing for us as roommates. I realize that you have younger siblings and that you don’t want to have to look after me like I was one. But instead of organizing my dishes, or put my part of the pantry in order, you have to realize that since those sort of things don’t bother me, I’m not going to do so myself – unless you ask me to.

From now on instead of letting me blithely ignore the organization that is important to you, it would be better if you left me a note or confronted me about it, because I would be perfectly happy to clean up whatever is bothering you. I realize that by asking you to do something like that might not be something that you would like, but I honestly cannot see how my behavior would infuriate you, so I am always blissfully unaware of what annoys you.

Because we only have a term left, I feel that we could come to a resolution in our relationship that would work for both you and me. I hope that you can forgive my behavior and I will strive to be a better roommate to you from now on.

Shannon

Tradition

On Friday nights, it's become almost a tradition that a group of us go over to Sarah's apartment and watch movies. Yesterday, I offered t make dinner for people, and Sarah wanted it to be agt my apartment since we always go over to her house, and I thought that was fine, so I fixed the stuff at my place and we ate and hung out here.

We had awesome food, I made a cheese-stuffed chicken that if i were to ever make again I would marinate it for sure (it was kind of tasteless except for the cheese in the middle). I also made this gorgonzola-artichoke tortellini that turned out really really well. Plus an odd smattering of side dishes and appetizers. Anyway, we hung out, talked really loud, played music, got martinelli's on eeeverrrything. And made lot of general mess.

Of course since I had spent from 2 in the afternoon until about 6 30 making the dinner, I didn't want to look at the dishes at all, and I only loaded a few into the dishwasher. Meaning that I of course did what any normal hostess would do, I left the dishes and the kitchen in general disarray, to be cleaned the next morning after I would wake up.

So, the thing about my roommate is, well, she doesn't have a good opinion of me, at all. I am completely passive towards her because I don't like confrontation (but then again, who does?). She has a lot of rules, and likes things to be clean and organized, and above all, she treats me like I were a kid.

Whenever I am loud, she doesn't hesitate to text me about it, but because I don't want to make her mad, when she is too loud too late, I try to ignore it, or if I'm writing an essay and she's too loud, I'll put on my headphones and listen to music that general hurts my concentration more than t helps, but, I'm not about to do anything else, so I just suck it up and deal with it.

But that's just noise, what really bothers my roommate is the cleanliness. In our kitchen-living room area I have nothing, I do not decorate, I don't put pictures out, or anything, but she has decorated it with many many many things of hers, which is okay with me, just leave no indication that I live here. awesome.

There are a lot of examples of her taking her own initiative, and organizing my stuff, which is pretty aggravating to me, but not as much as the fact that she never ever warns me, or says 'Shannon could you please clean up your side of the pantry' or 'Shannon could you do something with your PS2, it's bugging me'. No. Instead what she will do is clean it for me. Which I'm sure that she gets no pleasure out of and thinks to herself 'I wish she would do this' - oh wait, I never know that it's bothering her, so how am I supposed to read her mind and do it myself?

So we generally don't ever see each other because we run on different schedules and I try to go over to Sarah's as much as possible so don't have to feel unwelcome in my own home. But to get back to last night' 'party', I left that mess so I could deal with it later since I was exhausted, and this morning I woke up the sounds of cleaning and my thoughts can basically be summed up in one word

'shit.'

I pretended I wasn't awake until she stopped and got ready in her room, and I opened the door to check and see what had been done, and I was relieved to see that she hadn't, well, washed my dishes. But in front of my door was the shoes I had left in the living room, the chair I had brought out for someone to sit on, and, a note.

Oh dear lord, a note. Now I have to admit that I did leave the kitchen quite messy, but I was planning on cleaning it up, not leaving it to her to do. Of course, she put the chairs back, washed the floor, cleaned the counters, cleaned the stove and did - everything that I was going to do if she had just given me time to do it, or, asked me.

But back to the note, it basically said "I'm tired of cleaning up after you, clean more, you're being really messy, and I always have to clean up after you, and that's not my job"

awesome.

Yesterday

Yesterday was kind of funny actually, I spent about five hours cleaning my apartment after six weeks of.. not. I found it sort of relaxing in a way, because it means that now my room feels so much bigger than it does when all my dirty laundry is strewn every which way. (I don't even want to talk about how gross my bathroom was, but I'll just say, it was really gross.)

I also realized that I tend to do my cleaning on the weekends that my roommate isn't home, because I feel so much more comfortable moving around in our living room and using the washing machines. She intimidates me just by looking at me, and more often than not I wish I could just disappear.

-edit- Living with Luccie is kinda like living in a duplex. We never talk, or interact, we just happen to share a common space. I'm jealous of the people I know who live in stadium park who hang out with all of their roommates in their living rooms. It's why I want to spend all of my free time at Sarah's place, and why she's started to get sick of me, haha. -edit-

But now I can say that all my dishes, clothes, and haha, bathrooms..? are clean, and will stay that way for at least a day or two. Afterward I got really really bored and ended up inking/coloring two more of my drawings. I was so bored I spent about an hour pressuring Tim to get his own Deviantart account.

p.s. he asked me to be his valentine :3
but it was in german so I was kinda like 'wut? yeah?'

Oh bebe

I think my skin under my lip is rebelling for some reason or another, I just wish I knew why. Does skin usually erupt into ghastly dry blotchy patches for no reason? No! Of course it doesn't.. Oh well, at least I never see anyone I want to impress with my ~*~good looks~*~

Seeing as it's two in the morning and I happen to be listening to shuffle without actually hearing it, I'll probably read this entry tomorrow morning and wonder what the heck I'm talking about. All I know is that right now I really want to know what people say about me after I leave a room. Though perhaps I wish they talked about me, rather than actually wanting to know what people say, I want to know that things are said. -except I don't want to know what my roommate thinks of me at all, that would be too enlightening-

I also wish that I - I forgot what I was going to say when I left to go to the bathroom, though I'm sure everyone needed to know that.. right.. I wonder what I was going to say. Though I think that all the -cough- books I've been reading recently have started to affect my brain. I caught myself thinking about what people's eyes are telling me.. Having eyes tell characters about feelings or like, 'triumph' confuses me, since when I look at eyes, all I see are eyes..

p.s. Shannon, please please please send Ms Stassens the email asking if it's okay if you use her as a personal reference for your apartment application..

Scraps

I Decided to compile some previous entries from other blogs just so I have something to work from. I really doubt any of the scraps will be revelations, but it might be fun to see what I can dig up. Though, when I blog I'm either nonsensical and write nothing of value, or sound really depressed and full of it.

p.s. I'll learn how to do cuts after this, I promise


From a failed revival a few months ago,
"Doesn't it always seem that you blog when you're in the most depressing state you think you've ever been in ... it's always interesting to look back at the things you written in the past... whenever I write, it's in a fit of passion..."

Oh dear, LJ entries from 2006,
"...sometimes when i'm with people, i just get this feeling of intense, admiration, and graditude. like when we're out shopping and i turn around and i realize how beautiful, fashionable, or cool they are. which is great, for them because sometimes i tell them, or i just get caught up in the moment, like, "this could be in a movie"..."

"...i went to the doctor yesterday because my mom was concerned about the lack of change in my cold, so they checked me out and gave me some antibiodics, and so, they said to take two and if i felt nauseated to take the rest with food..."

"...do you ever have that feeling where everything is wrong? i've woken up with it for a week now, i can't seem to shake it. like sometihng bad's going to happen. i hate this feeling. i had it the the day my dad told me that he and my mom were going to get a divorce. not a good feeling..."


Haha, oh man, I'm a smuck. I write about such uninteresting things..